When I was younger, I used to think of marriage as a fairytale, like Cinderella. That one day I would find my prince. I did find my prince, but he didn't ride a white horse. He rode a bucking bull.
My husband and I found each other in 2010 and was married by 2012. It was truly love at first sight. I went to his house for a party and I was hooked as soon as I seen him. Not to mention I was dating someone else. Now I know what you may think. I did not act on anything until I was single.
The week we started talking I was staying at his house every night and thinking about him all day. Everyone says that the first year of marriage is the hardest. However, I thought it was the easiest. We were in the honeymoon stage and we were also expecting our daughter.
The second year of marriage is what I like to refer to as the terrible twos. Think of it as a toddler. I was trying to figure out how to be a wife and a mom and balance everything in between and I couldn't do it. I struggle with anxiety and depression so it's a little harder for me to balance.
I wasn't hearing the I love you's constantly or the damn you're sexy and honestly I missed it. By the beginning of our third year of marriage I was talking about divorce. I wasn't happy. It wasn't exactly all his fault but mostly mine. I wanted him to do something about it when he was doing the best he could. I would cry myself to sleep praying that something would change.
We weren't quite ready to give up so we did what every couple needs to do and that is COMMUNICATE!!! I can not stress the importance of communication in any relationship. Sometimes you fall and you have to work your way back up. Now we still have our disagreements and arguments but I feel like when we got to the point of talking about divorce, it opened our eyes.
Today I can say that I am happy. I am happy with my husband. I am happy with myself.
Women believe that love is like a story or the movies and it's not. All that is make believe and fiction. You have to make your own happiness and it's not going to come to you that easy.
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